Dear Hubby/ future and aspiring Hubby, here are some tips on how to handle your spouse to avoid ‘’ Super Story’’ for a long lasting marriage that could lead to vacation in Paris or ………. Lol. I would introduce to you 5 basic steps on taking care of your ‘’ darling’’ to ensure ‘’ happily ever after’’.
1. Who is your Wife?
Remember that time you were chasing her? She was your Nwa-pepe-re-npe, Apple of your eyes, the only Cockroach in your Cupboard. What was it that caught your fancy? Was it her long legs, skinny self or her charisma? Did her personality command you to love her? Was it her calm demeanour? Try to think, what was it she liked or disliked, her beliefs, carefulness with things. If you still know and pay attention to them, then you will be able to smoothly handle her without hitch.
2. Go With the Flow
Be spontaneous. Don’t be stiff. You already know your individual personalities. So, there should be a common ground were you give room for adjustments. You both are from distinct backgrounds and with that comes baggage that if not well handled, in love and as family, could tear your marriage. Respect your differences. Simply put, live and let live.
3. Is She Angry?
There’s a popular saying that ‘’ a happy wife is a happy home’’ then picture an angry wife. Your wife could be angry for numerous reasons. Maybe it’s that time of the month, something is brewing that you might be aware of, that she thinks you need to visit. It could be debts on ground, or you are failing in your responsibilities. You will never understand until you ask her. Don’t go on the base of assumption or treat the issue as though she’s mental for being angry. Don’t give her a tag ‘’ angry woman ‘’ because there’s never a fire without smoke.
4. Be in Control
Women love men who can take control. Who they can show off. Someone who can handle his business. A man in control is not the type who goes public on any Private or family matters. He doesn’t shy away from his responsibilities financially, emotionally or psychologically. He doesn’t see his husband/fatherly role as favour nor unleash curses or sarcastic comments at his wife or compares her with ‘’Genevieve’’ when he knows he married an Orobo.
What do you do when your mum complains your wife to you? Do you go ‘’ mummy,’’ don’t mind her’’ or ‘’ I will talk to her’’. When you eventually address it, do you blame out rightly or ask to know what truly happened. Do you respect your wife in the public and at home, especially before her friends, and family or you treat her as you will.
Remember, that you are no longer a ‘’Bobo’’, ’’the Ladies man’’, you can no longer play the game you championed. Don’t allow your unmarried friends/colleagues fool you. You gave it up at the altar, so, own it. Hold the marriage strong. A good wife holds the home but she needs a supporting partner because she’s ‘’a help mate ‘’.
5. Argue but Don’t Hate
The best of friendships last not by how long they’ve stayed together but by how well they’ve been able to handle tough times, quarrels, and even arguments. Argument is a spice to the relationship/friendship/marriage. It is healthy. You guys were obviously friends before you married (except otherwise) you should to some extent know when to let go. ‘’ Octavia butler, sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.
As healthy as argument is to your marriage, there should be a limit to it. You are not in a war zone. Don’t argue as though you are with your sworn enemy. Sometimes try to avoid them but don’t see them as the ‘’enemy’’ because if not well controlled could lead to vulgar release that you could regret.
Know when to argue and when to let go. Virginia Woolf in her tweet ‘’some people go to priest, others to poetry; but I go to my friend’’. Your wife is your friend for life. When you’re done fighting the war, to the detriment of your marriage, who would you go back to? Be wise. Don’t come and say I told you to argue. Lol.