After it appeared Kalani and Asuelu were turning a new leaf in their rocky marriage, the couple has another intense fight on Sunday’s episode of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever?, which left Kalani in tears.
Kalani and Asuelu have been working on their marriage since last season, and 32-year-old Kalani has made it clear that she’s contemplating divorce but says that 25-year-old Asuelu doesn’t understand that it’s a possibility since couples rarely get divorced in Samoan culture. After telling her sister, Kolini, that she and Asuelu didn’t even sleep in the same room anymore, she attempts to have a conversation with her husband about needing more romance in their relationship.
“I feel like I’ve been in the role of your mom for so long,” Kalani tells him. “I’m, like, trying to teach you things and it really has taken the romance out of our marriage. Like, I don’t feel like we have any super loving feelings with each other. And do you think we need to work in the sex department? How do you feel we are sexually?”
An embarrassed Asuelu says he doesn’t even know how to answer that question but acknowledges to cameras that the two used to be much more sexually active before they welcomed their two young sons, Oliver and Kennedy. Kalani suggests they try role playing.
“We might as well just find something that makes it a little more fun,” she says to a hesitant Asuelu. “It’s like dressing up as different people, like, oh, the secretary and the boss or, like, go back to where we first started, where you’re like the kayak boy and I’m the older, more mature lady on vacation. So, I’m trying to figure out ways that we could feel like we used to feel with each other. Maybe if you can get, like, toys. Do you know what a sex toy is? A sex toy is a, like, device you can use to just make sex more fun.”
“I think we have neglected our marriage and sex is, like, an important part of marriage, but if you don’t have the love or anything like that then it’s weird for me,” she continues. “So, we need to do things that make us both happy and do things to make us feel like we love each other again.”
While the conversation is playful at first, it quickly takes a turn when Asuelu insists that he does do nice things for her without her asking him like bringing her pizza, which she points out that her brother also does. Asuelu, who has a rocky relationship with her family and has accused them of constantly ganging up on him, quickly gets angry and asks her why she always brings up her family. Asuelu stops being receptive and says she needs to think about the way she could talk to him.
Kalani tells cameras, “I feel like this was the perfect example of, like, how our relationship goes. We just… We’re really good and we’re having fun, and then the littlest thing can set him off and it’s usually the dumbest thing. I can’t never really tell him my real feelings or try to tell him what I think we should fix because he takes offense to everything. It wasn’t anything to get that upset over. Like, the whole thing is just crazy, it’s just psychotic.”
At this point in the argument, Kalani starts crying and Asuelu tells her she had no reason to.
“I can cry if I want to cry, those are my feelings,” she shoots back. “Can I just have my feelings … and say my freaking feelings? … Normal people cry when they’re upset. They don’t bottle s**t in and then blow up on people. That’s abnormal. Crying is normal. Blowing up on people is abnormal.”
When Asuelu says he did nothing to make her cry, an upset Kalani says that she doesn’t know what to do anymore since she feels like she can’t have a meaningful conversation with him that he doesn’t just brush under the rug. Asuelu says he is also at a loss on how to fix their issues.
“I feel like I yet again fooled myself into thinking that this marriage was on the right track, and that Asuelu was finally gonna change,” she tells cameras. “But, of course, I was wrong and the whole thing just collapsed again. If this is who he really is, I don’t see us buying a house together and quite frankly, I don’t really see a relationship with us in the future. Well, I can’t keep doing this anymore.”
To see Kalani’s awkward conversation with
