A soon-to-be groom is torn between following his gut and making his bride-to-be happy for his upcoming nuptials.
The man shared in a post on Reddit’s popular “Am I The A——” forum that he intended to make his longtime friend Zara his “best woman” for his upcoming wedding to his fiancée Sarah — an idea that his bride-to-be doesn’t like.
He noted that he and Zara had been friends since they were 7-years-old and formed a “sibling bond” over their family “not having the best family situations.” He said that she was also there for him and his son after his first wife died in 2021 following the COVID-19 pandemic.
“I love Zara like a little sister,” he shared. “She used to bring over food for my son and I… She’s been there for me at my worst and I wanted her to be a part of a new chapter in my life.”
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On the other hand, he said that his fiancée “isn’t really her biggest fan.” According to the man, Sarah thought she sounded “rude” the first time they met, but noted that Zara has since put in effort to bond with Sarah. “According to Sarah they just don’t click which I was fine with because not everyone has to like each other,” he said.
However, when he and his future bride started discussing wedding plans and he suggested having Zara as his best woman, Sarah “shot down the idea.” He said that she initially argued that she would “stick out among the other groomsmen,” prompting him to suggest that Zara wear a suit instead of a dress.
“… But she still said no and I got confused and asked if she didn’t want Zara in the wedding party at all and she said yes,” he wrote. “She said she didn’t want to give her friends and other people the wrong impression of me (which to me was very childish.)”
“I insisted that I want Zara as my best woman because as much as I consider my fiancée my best friend and want to make her happy, Zara is also an important person in my life and I want her by my side,” he added.
This led to his future bride getting “frustrated” and stop “speaking” to him. He said that his bride’s friends also began to think his response “means that there’s something going on between me and Zara,” despite her being already married.
Several Redditors agreed with the groom-to-be, saying that his fiancée should respect his decision. One person wrote, “your fiancée needs to respect your relationship with Zara.” They added, “So far, from what you wrote, I don’t believe she ever will. You will always be stuck in the middle.”
Another said that the man shouldn’t “throw away” his “whole relationship over this” and suggested that he explain to Sarah how he feels in wanting his “best mate up there too.”
One Redditor added, “I would reconsider going to the next level of this relationship until this is properly figured out.”
