A woman is refusing to support her sister’s boyfriend while he’s unemployed, and she’s now wondering if she made the right decision.
The woman explained on Reddit’s popular ‘Am I the A——?” forum on Friday, Dec. 13, that she and her pregnant sister share a house.
“Her boyfriend had nowhere to go and was going to have to move to a very far town which would cause conflict for her because she wouldn’t have help with the baby, a ride to work, or a ride to her appointments,” she said.
Because of this, the woman — who is technically the sole owner of the home — told the boyfriend he could stay with them as long as he contributed to rent, helped clean the house and split utilities. However, her sister’s boyfriend apparently did not keep up his end of the bargain.
“The whole time he’s been here ‘he’s looked for a job’ but he ‘can’t find anything,’ ” she wrote, adding, “So we’ve been paying the rent and bills without him contributing.”
“Our water bill is $600 because he takes 30 minute showers and has a ‘whole routine’ he has to follow,” she continued. “He doesn’t help clean unless we ask him, and even then my sister does everything for him because he ‘doesn’t know how.’ “
She also noted that the boyfriend doesn’t contribute to grocery costs, despite eating most of their food.
Two women arguing (stock image).
StockPlanets/Getty
“I told her countless times to talk to him about helping with bills and cleaning but not much has changed,” she continued. “I don’t even think she’s making it seem like it’s urgent. I was being understanding and sympathetic at first but now I’m becoming annoyed and regretful.”
She shared that her sister is going on maternity leave in March and that if the boyfriend doesn’t get a job by then she will likely “be stuck paying everything by myself until her disability kicks in, and I’ll be stuck cleaning everything because she’ll be recovering from childbirth and won’t be able to help.”
In an update to the post, the Redditor revealed that she sat down with her sister and the boyfriend and explained her concerns, which prompted the boyfriend to start packing his bags because “he felt like I didn’t want them here.” She added that her sister left in solidarity, and the two are staying at a homeless shelter.
“Why she wanted to be homeless with a man with no job while she’s 6 months pregnant I have no clue,” the poster wrote.
She shared that she woke to “lots of calls and messages” from family members telling her she was in the wrong, but admitted, “I feel some sense of relief.”
Reddit users were quick to chime in with their thoughts and opinions, with the majority of commenters supporting the original poster’s decision.
“You need to step into your power. You own a freaking house — that’s amazing!” one user said. “You currently have two grown-ass adults who are not earning their keep. I think you need to make it super-clear what is expected, otherwise they will be out. Do it sooner rather than later so that they can find a place before they have their baby.”
“You need to have a come to jesus moment with yourself and with your sister,” added another. “Your future is going to be raising three kids — your sister, the boyfriend and [the] kid so if [you’re] okay with that let them go … otherwise start figuring out your boundaries and enforce them.”
“NTA [not the a——],” another Reddit user firmly wrote. “Your sister got herself pregnant by someone who was clearly not ready to be a dad. If she wants to play house with a baby and someone who behaves like a grown baby, then she’s free to do that, but she shouldn’t be dragging you into that.”
