A bride says her stepdad’s “surprise” wedding giftturned out to be an embarrassing spectacle for her and her guests.
She detailed the drama in a post on Reddit, beginning by explaining that she got married 18 months ago but still “can’t stop thinking about what happened” after her stepdad treated the newlyweds to a “surprise singing chef” during their reception.
“Basically a guy came out in a chef’s outfit and said he was working in the kitchen but wanted to sing us a song. Cue 30 minutes of singing and me and my husband being completely confused the entire time. We had zero idea what was happening,” she recalled.
The bride and groom were also frustrated, as the performance threw off their carefully calibrated wedding schedule. “The entire wedding was planned with strict timeframes, so it made everything super late, shortened the dance floor time and meant we couldn’t get sunset pictures as planned,” she noted.
Making matters much worse, the singing chef unwittingly made an unfortunate song choice during his set. “The ‘chef’ sang my husband’s mom’s funeral song as his final song… we had briefed all vendors to not play this song but seeing as this vendor was not organized by us, he didn’t know,” the bride wrote. “It was extremely triggering for my husband’s family and everyone was in tears.”
Wedding gifts (stock image).
Getty Images
“Our guests were so confused, and it really was very stressful and uncomfortable until the end when it was revealed it was a ‘surprise gift’ from my stepdad,” she continued, noting, “He didn’t even tell my mom what he was planning and she was mortified.”
The bride went on to recall that while she and her husband and their guests ultimately enjoyed a nice evening at the reception after the incident, she still felt “rattled by the surprise chef debacle.”
“Looking back now, I really do feel like it took away from our special day, and although it was meant as a nice gift, it didn’t work out that way,” the bride wrote. “My stepdad also doesn’t know me very well, as I genuinely hate surprises and we meticulously planned our wedding to reflect us and we would have never included a singing chef.”
The bride concluded her post by asking the Reddit community whether she is “valid” in feeling upset by the gift or should simply be grateful for the well-meaning gesture.
In the comments, people sympathized with the bride’s point of view, saying they, too, would have been embarrassed and put off by the surprise.
“You’re so valid… I probably would have found someway to end it after one song because of the timeline. I don’t care how long he was paid for, or how much it costs. paying for ‘entertainment’ at a wedding without consulting the bride and groom is a nightmare,” one commenter wrote.
Another agreed, writing: “All of your feelings are valid, [and] your stepdad sounds blissfully ignorant of how weddings work at best, and a blundering moron at worst. You know him better than Reddit does and I’d trust your gut regarding his intentions, but I’d lose my s— if someone decided to inject something so bizarre into my wedding, especially if it caused upset for half of the wedding party.”
Upset bride (stock image).
Getty
The same commenter then asked the bride, “Did you confront him at the time or was it just never discussed?”
In reply, she wrote, “My mom was really upset with him, so they definitely had words. He genuinely had no idea this wasn’t appropriate. We have never spoken about it because I left immediately for our honeymoon and 18 months on I feel like it’s too late now. But I’m clearly still thinking about it… so maybe I should?”
A few people questioned why the venue staff and the singing chef allowed the performance to go forward without consulting the bride and groom, despite the surprise element.
“A lot of performers will not do a wedding without speaking directly to the bride and groom,” someone noted, while another commenter added: “Your venue manager is insane for not stopping this, any coordinators you had are insane for not stopping this, especially when you had a strict guideline. The fact this was allowed, surprise or not, is insane.”
While agreeing that the bride’s stepdad made a major faux pas, several others encouraged her to simply let it go at this point.
“It should be important to remember that the wedding is a one-day event. Your marriage is a lifelong relationship. I’m not trivializing your feelings, I’m just saying have a conversation with [your stepdad] and then let it go,” a Redditor commented. “Keeping the fails close to your heart is a recipe for having your relationships get bogged down by excess baggage.”
