A bride says she is ready to “fire” one of her bridesmaids because she is being too “opinionated” about dress choices.
In a post on Reddit’s “Wedding Drama” forum, the bride explained that she is getting married in less than a year and currently in “full planning mode.” She has four bridesmaids and her vision is for them all to wear black ankle-length dresses.
She selected some options and sent them to the women. Three of them are happy with the dress options and told the bride they can easily find one that suits them. The fourth bridesmaid, however, “is being very mean and opinionated about what she wants.”
“She’s known to have no filter but it’s really made me quiet and angry and sad,” the bride wrote in her post, adding, “This isn’t the type of energy I want around me on my wedding day and through the process.”
Now, because of the picky bridesmaid’s response, the bride is considering asking the friend to “step back” from her role in the wedding.
A bride and a bridesmaid (stock image).
Docinets Vasil/Getty
She wondered “at what point do I fire a bridesmaid” while asking fellow Redditors, “Am I overreacting or should I follow through with what my gut is telling me? Help.”
In the comments, many people said they understand why the bride might be feeling disappointed with her friend’s behavior but also took issue with the notion that she could “fire” a bridesmaid.
“You cannot fire a bridesmaid, as she is not your employee and not on your payroll. On the contrary, she is indirectly paying you, by spending money on your ‘vision,’ ” one person wrote.
A bride and her bridesmaids (stock image).
Getty
Another agreed, writing: ‘Firing a bridesmaid isn’t what you think it is. Being a bridesmaid isn’t a job. She isn’t getting paid to stand up next to you.”
Someone else warned that kicking someone out of the bridal party can be a “friendship-ending move” and urged the bride to not be so quick to cancel the bridesmaid’s role before taking the time to have an honest, one-on-one conversation with her first. They suggested there could be specific reasons why the bridesmaid expressed dislike for the chosen dress options, among them cost.
The commenter wrote: “Did you ask every bridesmaid her budget privately before picking this shop? Do you know that there are options in this shop that fall within the budget? Does this friend have potential body & self-image issues that the other girls don’t? Depending on the answer to those questions, it’s possible that she’s resistant because she’s being asked to pay more than she can afford and/or she’s self-conscious. If there’s any chance these are the problems then just be a friend and talk to her.”
Many other Redditors agreed that the bride’s best course of action would be to talk to the bridesmaid. “Speak to her privately and if she’s still hostile and just dislikes it, then ask her if she would rather attend as a guest if she’s so unhappy with the choice you want for your wedding,” one person advised.
