A bride is being accused of “ruining” her best friend’s fiancé’s proposal plans after she refused to let him pop the question at her wedding.
In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the 30-year-old bride explained that she got married last month and “everything went off without a hitch” on the big day — with the exception of one very “awkward moment” in the lead-up to the nuptials.
She shared that a week before her wedding, her best friend Maya asked if her fiancé Jake could propose to her at her reception. “Apparently, Jake thought it would be ‘romantic’ and was convinced that it would make their moment more special,” the bride wrote.
While Maya and Jake were excited about the plan, the bride was not so keen.
“Now, I love Maya, but the idea of having my wedding overshadowed by their proposal didn’t sit right with me. I politely said ‘no’ and suggested they have their own special day,” the Reddit poster continued. “Maya seemed a little disappointed, but she said she understood.”
A bride and a friend (stock image).
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As it turns out, though, Maya and Jake were not okay with the bride’s refusal. “On the wedding day, I noticed Maya and Jake were acting distant, and it was clear something was off. I later found out that Jake was upset with me for ‘ruining his plan’ and felt like I’d been selfish for not allowing them to share in the love of the day,” the bride explained, as she invited people to weigh in on the sticky situation.
“AITA [am I the a——] for refusing to let them have their proposal at my wedding, or was I being selfish by not letting them make it a double celebration?” she concluded her post.
The majority of responders sided with the bride, agreeing that her wedding was not the time and place for another couple’s romantic moment to unfold.
“Your wedding day is about celebrating you and your partner, not serving as a backdrop for someone else’s proposal. Proposals at weddings are often seen as inappropriate because they can shift the focus away from the couple being celebrated, which is exactly why you were right to say no,” one person wrote.
“Honestly, your friend should have known better than to ask in the first place,” they continued. “It’s common sense that it’s rude to make someone else’s wedding about you, and I don’t understand why she even thought that would be okay. It’s your day — not an open mic for other people’s romantic gestures.”
Another person chimed in, “Can we normalize wedding days being about the bride and groom only? No proposals, no baby announcements, no one stealing the show… it should be about the two people listed on the invitation.”
Yet another commenter joked, “Were Maya and Jake also planning on paying for half the costs of the reception, caterer, DJ, decorations, etc.? I mean they wanted to share in the love of the day, so did that mean they wanted to also share in the costs of the day? … Yah, didn’t think so.”
A bride and groom (stock image).
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Someone else echoed that sentiment, commenting: “Of course they wanted to ‘share’ your special day. Beautiful, romantic surroundings — check. A captive audience to witness their love and commitment — check. Congratulations and attention on them — check. A fully paid for party (not for them, or paid for by them) — check. The best of both worlds, eh!”
Other people questioned Maya and Jake’s true motives, pointing out the strangeness of Maya being the one to ask the bride if her fiancé could propose.
“Why is SHE asking if she can get proposed TO at your wedding? That means the proposal has effectively already happened and they are just putting on a play for attention,” one wrote, while another added: “If SHE asked if HE could propose to her at your wedding they were not asking for a proposal, they were asking you to subsidize their engagement party. If it is planned by the couple together, then it is no longer a ‘proposal.’ “
The majority of commenters also agreed that Maya and Jake have no business being upset or offended by the bride’s refusal to allow the proposal to take place during her wedding.
“They asked. Were told ‘no’. Now they’re sulking. That’s tough cookies,” one person argued, adding, “At least they didn’t go ahead and do it anyway!”
