Sara Chase is detailing the “double life” she lived while dealing with cancer.
The Broadway performer had just landed her dream role as Myrtle in the musicaladaptation of The Great Gatsby when she decided to have her fallopian tubes removed. The 41-year-old underwent the preventative surgery after previously testing positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation, which means she was more likely to develop cancer.
However, two weeks after starting to rehearse for the show, Chase received a call from her doctor and was told they found cancer in one of her fallopian tubes.
“Thankfully, it was caught early, but the standard of care was an immediate full hysterectomy, oophorectomy, and six rounds of chemotherapy every three weeks,” she wrote in a personal essay for TODAY. “I couldn’t believe what he was telling me.”
“I went into rehearsal the next morning and didn’t tell anyone. Mostly because I was in denial,” she said. “If I said it out loud, it would be true. That I have cancer. That I am rehearsing a Broadway show while being treated for cancer. Or maybe I thought someone would try and take my dream away from me. Or people might treat me differently. Best to keep it to myself until absolutely necessary, I thought.”
Chase said she found herself living a “secret double life” while undergoing treatment. She would meet with her doctors early in the morning, get blood work done and then stash her hospital bracelets before heading to her Broadway rehearsals.
“Two weeks after my diagnosis, I secretly got a full hysterectomy, oophorectomy and cervix removal,” she wrote. “Four days after that, I was on stage singing and dancing in full costumes and wigs like nothing had happened. (For the record, I do not recommend this.) I hid my scars with compression garments underneath my costumes, and I hid my pain too.”
The actress recalled experiencing a lot of the side effects of her treatment alone while at work, having to pretend as if everything was okay.
“As people were telling their friends and family about this new Broadway show they were in, I was telling friends and family about what to expect in the next coming months. My colleagues met with stylists; I met with oncologists,” she said.
By the time opening night came for The Great Gatsby, Chase said she stood in her dressing room and “started to sob uncontrollably.” With the grueling treatment and rehearsal schedule, she hadn’t been able to sit and fully acknowledge what she’d been through.
“I’ve heard the journey of cancer described as incredibly lonely, and I’ve found that to be true,” she admitted. “No matter how many people I have in my corner (and I have so many wonderful people), no matter how many people applaud for me or greet me at the stage door, no matter how many incredible cast members and crew surround me, this was ultimately something I had to do by myself.”
She continued, “And as I stood by myself on stage, just a spotlight on me and my secret hiding in plain sight, whatever I was feeling earlier melted away and was replaced with pride.”
The following week, Chase said she told her cast the truth about her health. She ultimately took a leave of absence and relied on understudies in order to finish treatment.
Chase wrote that she’s “comforted by the fact that soon I’ll be back on stage.”
“And this time, I know I’ll be even stronger,” she said.
