Machine Gun Kelly is opening up about a painful time in his life. The 33-year-old musician, whose real name is Colton Baker, is returning to his rap roots in the new song “Don’t Let Me Go.”
In the lyrics and the subsequent music video, MGK doesn’t hold back about his struggles, even alluding to suicidal thoughts.
“Lately my thoughts eating me alive/ Laying in the bed thinking maybe that hate will finally go away if I’m not alive,” he raps as he presses a finger gun to his head in the video.
He also references his recent bold body art, rapping, “I had a breakdown and tatted my entire body except one line.”
Kelly recently shared his shocking new look, which features thick black ink covering most of his upper body and arms with the exception of a line down his front.
In one of the new song’s more heartbreaking lyrics, MGK raps about the miscarriage he and his lady love Megan Fox experienced in 2021.
“How do I live with the fact that my hand wasn’t on her stomach when we lost the baby/ I don’t got no one to turn to ’cause everyone’s dead in my life that was tryin’ to raise me,” he sings.
Fox previously opened up about her miscarriage in her book of poetry, Pretty Boys Are Poisonous, and the subsequent press tour for the book’s release in 2023.
“There is an ultrasound by your side of the bed, 10 weeks and 1 day … do you think that if she could have, she would have left a suicide note?” Fox wrote in the book.
The book’s final page includes a drawing of a woman holding a baby.
“But now I have to say goodbye. I close my eyes and imagine holding you tight against my chest as they rip you from my insides,” Fox wrote. “I will pay any price, tell me please, what is the ransom for her soul?”
In November 2023, Fox opened up about the loss on Good Morning America.
“I had never been through anything like that before in my life,” Fox said on GMA at the time. “I have three kids, so it was very difficult for both of us. And it sent us on a very wild journey together and separately, and together and apart, and together and apart, and together and apart, trying to navigate, ‘What does this mean? Why did this happen?'”
MGK previously shared a story behind the heartbeat in his song, “Twin Flame,” revealing that he had initially been working on something titled “One Day and 10 Weeks.”
“Then I made a song called ‘Last November.’ Neither expressed the sadness we experienced from what I will leave private,” he wrote in a Mainstream Sellout zine. “And I circled back to [‘Twin Flame’] and decided to add on to the story. Our story.”
Earlier this month, a source told ET that the on-off couple are working through their highs and lows.
“Megan and Machine Gun Kelly have their ups and downs, as most couples do,” the source revealed. “They love so hard that sometimes things can be intense, but ultimately, they do their best to hear one another and better themselves. They both want a happy, loving, supportive, and honest relationship.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please contact that 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for 24/7 support.
