A maid of honor claims she was “bullied” by the bride’s longtime friend — including right before she gave her speech at the wedding — and she’s unsure how to handle the situation.
She shared her dilemma in a post on Reddit’s “Wedding” forum, beginning by providing some context to her own friendship with the bride.
“I’ve only known the bride for five years, but we’ve been best friends and I’m close with her husband and his friends as well,” the OP (original poster) wrote, noting, “I had imposter syndrome when she asked about being her maid of honor.”
After she accepted the role, the bride told the OP that one of her friends from her middle school days asked if she would like their childhood friend group to speak at her wedding, and she politely declined.
“[The bride and groom] wanted to keep it short,” the OP explained, “and they decided they wanted people who knew their relationship as it is now to be the ones speaking.”
As soon as the middle school friend showed up at the wedding weekend, the OP detected an uncomfortable dynamic.
“The friend constantly was sharing stories about how deep her connection with the bride was. She cut off and talked down to me and the groom in conversations, so I knew she had some resentment,” the OP continued. “In a group conversation at the table right before speeches, she abruptly put me on the spot and asked me what my favorite thing about the bride was/quizzed me on fun facts about her. She then proceeded to share with everyone stories about her relationship with the bride.”
Wedding guests toasting during a speech (stock image).
Getty
The OP said she felt the woman “tried to psych me out right before my speech.” But, ultimately, she wrote, she “crushed” her speech, and the middle school friend group later came up to compliment her — everyone except the “mean girl, who stood there with her arms crossed.”
Not wanting to cause any drama on the bride’s big day, the OP “was cordial and just took [the woman’s behavior] the entire weekend.”
“I didn’t say anything in the moment to keep the peace during the festivities,” she wrote.
Now that the weekend is over, however, the OP wants to “confront her and/or tell the bride that her friend seems to have a chip on her shoulder about not being the maid of honor.”
She noted, “I’m worried this dynamic will continue to be an issue for future events moving forward.”
In the comments section, fellow Redditors urged the OP to let it go and continue to take the high road.
Bride and her maid of honor (stock image).
Docinets Vasil/Getty
“I’m a big fan of the phrase ‘never interrupt your enemy when they’re making a mistake,’ ” one person wrote. “I think you handled the situation beautifully and while her comments would be irritating, in no way did she walk all over you. You did that to her when you showed up for your friend, delivered a killer speech and maintained the peace in a mature manner.”
They added: “My recommendation is continue to be the pillar of stability in her friend circle and let the other continue to spin her wheels. You will come out ahead every time.”
Another person wrote, “Why would you want to give this girl that kind of power? Don’t give her the satisfaction of thinking you were the least bit bothered by her behavior.”
Someone else agreed, telling the OP, “Don’t validate her. It sounds like the mean girl is still stuck in middle school mentality. She’s looking to get under your skin and make you question your friendship with the bride, which is clearly stronger than her friendship with the bride. I’d leave it.”
Others urged the OP not to involve the bride. “Don’t drag your friend into it. You didn’t click with the MOH. What’s the point in confronting the friend after the fact? It sounds like drama,” one person note.
Another chimed in, “At some point, the opportunity will come for the friend to reveal herself. Let it happen naturally. Don’t ruin the bride’s memories of her happy day. There’s a reason she picked you as MOH — prove her right.”
