A U.K. man is speaking out about his ex-girlfriend’s abuse — including controlling his diet, biting him and preventing him from using the toilet — after it caused him to lose over 60 lbs. and got her sentenced to 20 months in prison.
After meeting online in July 2021 and sparking a relationship, “everything was good” between Gareth Jones and Sarah Rigby, both 41, according to a news releasefrom the Cheshire Police Department.
“I guess they call it love bombing,” Jones told the BBC of the relationship’s early stages. “I thought, ‘How can this person be so loving?’ I think it takes you aback … you think this could really be the one, and this could work out. It was overly powerful.”
The facade crumbled quickly, however. Within months, Rigby’s controlling nature became clear as she forced Jones to move into her Winsford home, where she asked him to pay rent despite the property being owned by her father, police said.
She soon took full control of his finances, cut him off from his loved ones and put strict rules in place, they added. Despite the fact that he worked from home, Jones was also not allowed to be in the house alone and was never given a key to the property.
Rigby also prevented him from using the toilet to defecate or shower, and she searched him as he entered and exited the house to ensure he “wasn’t taking anything that she didn’t approve of,” according to police.
Jones’ diet also fell under Rigby’s “strict” control, and if he didn’t follow her orders, she would inflict various forms of abuse on him, from preventing him from eating to physically attacking him, which included biting, kicking and scratching, the BBC reported.
“She made me sleep on the floor with no covers if things weren’t going her way, as a punishment,” Jones told the outlet. “I wasn’t allowed to shower or shave, or use the toilet. I had to hold it in and try to make it down to the local supermarket or a pub or a restaurant.”
To paint a picture of Rigby’s abuse, Jones recalled to the BBC that during a trip to London, the couple visited Harrods, a luxury department store, and she said, “We’re not leaving until you buy me something expensive.’ ”
“She clawed me through my jumper, my arm was actually bleeding, until she forced me into buying something expensive for her,” he added to the outlet.
Rigby also verbally and psychologically abused Jones, calling him “fat, ugly, and disgusting,” police said. Coupled with the physical and financial abuse Rigby inflicted, this caused Jones to lose 63 pounds in just two months, he told the BBC.
Rigby also repeatedly told Jones that if he told anyone about her abuse, she would tell police he had assaulted her, the outlet reported.
But, continuing to communicate with his mom — and deleting his messages to her to avoid abuse — Jones eventually snuck out to meet her for coffee, he told the BBC. He added that his mom “broke down in front of me” upon learning of his situation.
“I thought, ‘I can’t put my family through it any longer,’ ” Jones said. “They were imploring me to leave.”
In March 2022, Jones decided to seek help from the ManKind Initiative, a U.K. charity that provides support for male victims of domestic abuse, and his experience inspired him to go to the police.
He left with “only the clothes on my back,” got therapy, and began rebuilding his finances and relationships from scratch. “It knocked my confidence for a long time,” he told the BBC. “I had low self-esteem because of the constant abuse.”
Over two years later, in May 2024, Rigby was sentenced to 20 months in prison (suspended for two years) after pleading guilty to coercive and controlling behavior. Jones also got a five-year restraining order against his former abuser.
In a statement released after the sentencing, Cheshire Police Detective Constable Sophie Ward called Jones’ situation “the worst case of controlling and coercive behavior I have ever seen.”
“Although [Rigby] eventually pleaded guilty to her offending, she has shown no remorse for her actions,” Ward continued. “While the victim will never be able to forget what happened to him, I hope that the conclusion of this case will help him to move forward and start to rebuild his life.”
