One man is drawing a line when it comes to babysitting his nieces and nephew — and his sister isn’t happy about it.
The 29-year-old man turned to Reddit’s Am I the A—— forum to discuss a family dispute, asking fellow Redditors if he’s in the wrong for refusing to watch his sister’s kids after she previously canceled a babysitting gig on him last-minute.
“So, my (29M) sister (32F) has three kids (10, 7, 5). Last month, she asked me if I could watch them for a weekend while she and her husband went on a short anniversary trip,” he explained. “I agreed because I love my nieces and nephew, but I made it clear that I needed at least two weeks’ notice because I work long hours, and I’d have to rearrange my schedule.”
He then clarified that he also “asked my boss for time off, cleared my weekend, and stocked my house with everything the kids would need” in preparation for their stay.
“Friday afternoon rolls around, and I’m waiting for her to drop them off,” he continued. “Suddenly, I get a text from her saying they’re not coming. She decided last minute that they were going to a family-friendly resort instead and didn’t need me to watch them anymore. No apology, just, ‘We’ll do it another time.’ ”
“I was frustrated because I had completely cleared my weekend, turned down plans with friends, and rearranged my work schedule for this,” he shared. “I responded by telling her it wasn’t cool to cancel on me last minute like that, especially when I went out of my way to help.”
The man then shared that his sister reached out again two days later asking if he could babysit the following weekend.
“Apparently, something came up with her original plan, and she needed someone to watch them after all. I told her no, I wasn’t available,” he wrote.
However, his sister wasn’t happy, and his parents also apparently voiced their displeasure with his decision to say he was unavailable.
“She got upset and said I was being selfish and punishing her kids for something that wasn’t their fault,” he wrote. “Now she’s mad at me, and my parents are saying I should be more understanding because ‘things come up when you’re a parent.’ ”
“I don’t have kids, but I feel like it’s just basic respect to not cancel on someone last minute and then expect them to be available whenever you want,” he concluded, while asking others if he’s the “a——” for setting this boundary.
Redditors flocked to the man’s defense, with one writing that the family should both respect and appreciate his clear boundary.
“If someone is willing to babysit my kiddo but politely express their boundary like this, I’m all for it,” the commenter wrote. “Awesome, so glad you can babysit, I will absolutely keep you updated and respect your scheduling needs.”
Another commenter brought up the fact that the sister’s “change of plans” was entirely avoidable, arguing that her behavior shows a lack of appreciation for her brother’s efforts.
“The sister just changed her mind about not bringing the kids along,” they wrote. “If there were some sort of emergency or something, then OP [the original poster] should be a bit understanding, although that doesn’t mean he’s required to make time where he doesn’t have it. But that’s not what happened; what happened was that his sister showed a total lack of concern and gratitude for OP’s efforts, so OP is right to refrain from making such efforts in the future if it doesn’t seem worthwhile to him.”
Another commenter shared that — as a childless person themselves — they completely relate to the original poster’s dilemma, recommending that he talk to his family about their current expectations.
“Sometimes, people with kids tend to think people without this responsibility have no life and no other commitment,” the commenter began. “I had to have a talk with my family recently about this. They were taking for granted that I was available last minute to put my life aside and go for weeks at a time to help out my sister and her kid or take care of my parents house while they were away or going to my brother’s place to take care of his dog for a week, etc.”
“I sat them down and explained how disrespectful it was to put me in situations where I was either the jerk for saying no to help out family,” they concluded, “… or I was the one giving up on all my plans to help out. Either way, I was miserable.”
