Ryan Adams is taking responsibility for his actions.
The singer penned a lengthy apology on Friday, one-and-a-half years after a searing expose in the New York Times accused him of sexual harassment and psychological abuse of women — including his former wife Mandy Moore.
In the NYT piece, Adams was accused of retaliating against the women who spurned his advances, by sabotaging their careers and harassing them in text messages and on social media.
At the time, the rocker denied all allegations, branding the article “upsettingly inaccurate”, insisting: “Some of its details are misrepresented; some are exaggerated; some are outright false.”
But in a new grovelling mea culpa sent to the Daily Mail, he accepted he had mistreated people throughout his life and career, and that he would “never be off the hook” because of his harmful behavior.
“There are no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I’ve mistreated people throughout my life and career,” he began.
“All I can say is that I’m sorry. It’s that simple. This period of isolation and reflection made me realize that I needed to make significant changes in my life.”
“I’ve gotten past the point where I would be apologizing just for the sake of being let off the hook and I know full well that any apology from me probably won’t be accepted by those I’ve hurt. I get that and I also understand that there’s no going back.”
He accepted that a lot of people would see his words as “the same empty bull***t apology that I’ve always used when I was called out”; however he insisted this time was different.
“Having truly realized the harm that I’ve caused, it wrecked me, and I’m still reeling from the ripples of devastating effects that my actions triggered.”
“There is no way to convince people that this time is truly different, but this is the albatross that I deserve to carry with me as a result of my actions.”
“Realizing the consequences of my actions, I took a hard look inwards and sought to find the truth behind them. What pain was I carrying myself that was so poorly and wrongly being projected onto others?”
“I made a promise to myself that no matter what it took, I would get to the root of these issues and finally start to fix myself so I could be a better friend, a better partner, and a better man overall.”
“That being said, no amount of growth will ever take away the suffering I had caused. I will never be off the hook and I am fully accountable for my harmful behavior, and will be for my actions moving forward.”
The 45-year-old went on to reveal he is now fighting to get sober with professional help.
“But I will not bore anyone with stories of my demons or use them to excuse what I’ve done. I really want to express that I’ve internalized the importance of self-care and self-work. I’m really trying.”
He claimed to have written enough music for half a dozen albums in the time since the article was published — some of them angry, some of them sad, most of them about the lessons he had learned. he added: “Those ones an expression of my deepest remorse.”
“I hope that the people I’ve hurt will heal,” he concluded. “And I hope that they will find a way to forgive me.”
In the original Times article Moore — who was married to Adams from 2009 to 2016 — alleged Adams took control of her music career after they met and discouraged her from working with other people. She said they would write songs together, only to have other female artists actually record them.
“He would always tell me, ‘You’re not a real musician, because you don’t play an instrument,'” she claimed. “His controlling behavior essentially did block my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very pivotal and potentially lucrative time — my entire mid-to-late 20s.”
A number of women also claimed he offered to advance their music careers in return for sex; The FBI confirmed the following day he was being investigated for sexually explicit communications with an underage fan.
In an interview promoting her new album in March, Moore quickly steered the conversation away from her ex.
“I just don’t want this thing to be about him,” she told the NYT. “He’s taken so much for so long from so many people.”
“I can promise you he gets satisfaction being talked about in any capacity. I just know that about him. I haven’t spoken to him in, I don’t know, two years or something, but just knowing him as well as I know him, he really gets off on being talked about.”
