Tara Fela-Durotoye, founder House of Tara International, sat with Betty Irabor in episode 3 of Life Lessons to discuss her experience when her husband contested in the 2019 presidential election.
In this interview which was so raw, Tara showed her vulnerable side as she opened up about the online bullying, and betrayal from close friends, that she and her husband faced during that period and how it affected them.
Tara admitted that she had “too many experiences” that left her “in tears, sad, and burdened.”
She said that during that period, she got feedback of the horrible things close friends she expected support from were saying and “it was traumatic”.
She struggled with forgiving them and had to see a life coach about it afterward.
“I struggled with unforgiveness for a year,” she explained.
She also narrated the unique exercise the coach suggested to help her forgive those friends who betrayed her.
Tara also addressed the online bullying she was subjected to. She narrated how she snapped at an Instagram user during a Live video when he made an inappropriate comment.
Explaining how the online bullying affected her, she said: “I shut down unconsciously because I was now feeling judged.”
She added that, if it was bad for her, it was worse for her husband and it troubled her that he had to go through that.
She went on to recall a beautiful moment between Fela Durotoye and his political opponent, Oby Ezekwesili, during a debate where Fela was not himself.
In this interview, Tara also explained how the presidential campaign affected her relationship with her husband and what was done to fix it.
She admitted that at the “very beginning” of the political campaign, she felt angry with Fela Durotoye for exposing her to trolls. She said she became “aggressive, snappy” and started acting “out of character”.
“In this situation, I found out I was getting angry with him for no reason,” she recalled.
She explained how she handled the situation to prevent it from getting out of hand.
She said the experience has now made them stronger together and more in love.
The businesswoman also opened up about their lives post-election. She said that months after the election, Fela went into a dispassionate phase and she had to intervene.
She said she finally accepted that, though they were passionate about creating a better Nigeria, they couldn’t force Nigerians to accept what they were giving.
“Nigeria is not ready for what we wanted to bring,” she said, adding, “And as long as Nigeria is not ready, we cannot force it.”
Sharing the biggest lesson she learnt from the experience, Tara said: “If you’re married to someone who is passionate about whatever it is they’re passionate about, stand with them, support them, but it’s going to be a true test of how deep and grounded your relationship is. So my advice to people who are married… In this time, before you have those hard moments, spend time in developing trust, compassion for one another, deep love for one another…”
Life Lessons With Betty Irabor is brought to you by Linda Ikeji TV and sponsored by Nescafé and Maggi.
