An 18-year-old teen is seeking advice from the Reddit community after finding himself in a complex family situation involving his mother’s partner and children.
The young man, who lives with his paternal grandparents and attends college, is grappling with the expectations placed upon him to become more involved in his mother’s new family dynamic.
“I don’t have a whole lot to do with Brad or his kids,” the teen writes of his mom’s partner in the Reddit post. “I have been asked to babysit a few times and I always said no because I had other plans.” Despite maintaining a close relationship with his mother, meeting her regularly for lunch or coffee, he has kept his distance from Brad and his children.
Stock photo of man frustrated with kids.
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The situation came to a head during his mother’s birthday party, at which Brad’s mother confronted the teen about his perceived lack of involvement. She criticized him for not spending more time with Brad’s children.
“She said it looked like I was only interested in maintaining a relationship with mom and not on building my family,” he writes. “I asked her what business it was of hers and she told me her family are the ones involved.”
This confrontation brought the teen significant discomfort and frustration. The situation escalated when Brad’s mother somehow obtained his phone number and began sending text messages, scolding him for not organizing activities with the entire family.
When informed about the incident, Brad said he would talk to his mother but expressed his own desire to be a father figure to the young man. “He said he’d love … to have a kid as good as me have some kind of sibling-type relationship with his kids. He said not to babysit but even to hang out so they can say they have an older brother.”
Stock photo of a family.
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His mother, while apologetic about Brad’s mother’s behavior, expressed her own wish for her son to consider taking on the role of older brother. However, the teen remains hesitant about fully committing to this new family dynamic.
He says he told his mother, “I’d see what happens with Brad and his kids but I wasn’t planning to sign up for being an older brother. I told her they’d probably seem more like cousins to me.” The response left his mother feeling upset.
Now the teen is wondering if he should reevaluate his role in his blended family’s life. Many Reddit users have sided with the poster, claiming he’s an adult now and isn’t obligated to be a big brother if he doesn’t want to.
