A woman is seeking advice about a Thanksgiving-related family drama.
The 26-year-old turned to Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum on Tuesday, Nov. 19, to detail a situation involving her in-laws. She explained that her 28-year-old husband’s parents always host Thanksgiving dinner the Saturday after the holiday, but this year the couple accidentally made other plans.
We “bought tickets to a dinner theater over a year ago that are non-refundable (almost $200),” explained the woman, who posted anonymously as TheRealMCHammer815. “When we purchased them, we didn’t realize it was the Saturday after until about 2 weeks later.”
She said she ”immediately texted” her mother-in-law about the scheduling conflict, adding, “We invited them to our house for actual Thanksgiving day as my husband and I (and kids) stay home on actual holidays.”
Her in-laws, however, were not happy.
“My [father-in-law] told my husband that he knew they did Thanksgiving the Saturday after” she shared, noting that he also insinuated that she and her husband were essentially waiting for one of the in-law’s “funerals” to finally come and visit.
“We have a medically complex son, they live an hour away and it’s hard to travel with him,” the mom emphasized.
She then asked her fellow Reddit users if she’s in the wrong “for not eating the cost of those tickets” after she told her in-laws of the scheduling conflict over a year in advance.
The woman also posted several updates to her original post, clarifying that while she admits she should have checked the dates in advance, “we haven’t had a date in almost three years and just got excited and I didn’t think to check when Thanksgiving was.”
“They also don’t care to see or talk to us the rest of the year, it only becomes a problem on holidays,” she concluded.
The post has received nearly 3,000 upvotes as of Thursday, Nov. 21, with Reddit users flocking to the comments section to share their thoughts.
One commenter firmly believes that the woman is not the “a——,” noting that the in-laws should be happy that their son and daughter-in-law are getting a night out.
“It’s ridiculous for your in-laws to hold this against you,” they wrote. “It was an easy mistake to make. Use your tickets, enjoy your night out it’s a special treat. I can only imagine how difficult it can become with a medically complicated child and you need to grab the breaks and the special evening for you and your husband when you get the chance.”
“Go, have a great time and do NOT waste your time on guilt,” they added.
A family on Thanksgiving (stock image).
Shutterstock / Drazen Zigic
Another user agreed, while also calling out the woman’s husband. “NTA [not the a——]. But your husband should be dealing with his parents, not you,” they said.
One commenter offered a different perspective, sharing that they can understand why the woman’s in-laws are upset.
“You started this story with saying that your in laws ALWAYS do thanksgiving the saturday after. for holiday traditions I see dates like this as a standing ‘in perpetuity’ appointment until you have a family conversation and change the plans,” they wrote, “so I think it was kinda lame to change the plans without discussing it with them first and informing them after.”
Another Reddit user completely disagreed, writing, “It’s a one time thing. They have a lot on their plate. [In-law’s] could and should’ve been generous and told them that’s fine we can just get back on schedule next year have a good time. Now is that so hard???”
