A 36-year-old wife and mother has discovered the heartbreaking news that her husband of 19 years is having an “affair” with a girl he hasn’t met.
Taking to Reddit’s Relationship Advice forum, the anonymous woman claimed the other woman is three years older than one of their two teenage daughters daughters, explaining why she’s unsure whether she should leave him or try and find a way back from this betrayal.
Read on to see what the public think she should do, as well as her reasoning for staying with him for 10 months after the discovery.
“My(36F) husband(37M) has been having an affair with a girl(20F) that ‘he has never met’. Is it cheating? Grounds for divorce?,” the woman titled her querie.
“I found out 10 months ago that my husband is in a relationship with a girl ‘he has never met’ (or so he says),” she began her post.
In the post, it is clear OP has confronted her husband about the online affair, however, the husband has seemingly not ended things with the other woman despite his wife asking him to.
“I have been waiting for almost a year for him to pick me and break up with her. Every time he says he did I find out he’s lying. I’ve read their messages, they say, ‘I love you’. I know they are intimate on FaceTime,” she continued, before things took a another turn.
“I even found a picture of myself in lingerie that he texted to her to make her jealous,” she said.
“We have been together 19 years and have 2 teenagers together (the math says his gf is 3 years older than our daughter),” she said.
The the story became even more dire.
“Today I noticed an e-transfer from her to him for $2000 which can only mean they are planning flights to finally meet? Time to sell the house and hire a lawyer or can we come back from this?,” she concluded by asking Reddit.
The top reply on the post was a simple question: “Why would you stay around for this?”
It racked in over 1.4k upvotes at the time of writing, with the OP replying to the question herself: “Because we built a whole life together and he’s all I’ve ever known. Undo 19 years?”
“I say this with love and experience: you can do better. He is cheating on you emotionally, financially, and soon it seems, sexually,” the commenter responded, before OP added, “Ooof the truth is hard to stomach but that’s why I’m here I need to hear it. Thank you.”
As for why OP has not left during the past 10 months, she responded: “He comes from money his family has ‘generational wealth’ (his words). I’m worried he will out lawyer me and I will have to start over without a penny to my name.”
While another social media user focused on the money being sent to the other woman, sharing their concern for her husband possibly being catfished.
“Has he sent her a lot of money? Is it possible he is getting catfished? That’s a long time to not have met. Either way, doesn’t matter, this is way more than enough bulls–t to divorce someone over. Why are you even questioning this,” they wrote.
OP then revealed her husband has stopped making payments to the family home.
“I have never seen any money go to her from our joint account. That’s not to say he doesn’t have another account, he does. He moved his direct deposit to his new account and stopped paying the mortgage,” OP replied before the social media user responded, “Please see a lawyer ASAP.”
Another Reddit member said her husband has basically done it all except “killed” someone.
“Your husband sounds terrible according every measure. About the only one he hasn’t ticked is as far as I know, he hasn’t killed anyone. I can see why you feel very dejected. OP, you have to take the risk and file for divorce. A lawyer can advise you a lot better than reddit, but they generally love suing people with money for obvious reasons, courts don’t look kindly on infidelity, and you have kids which you’d likely gain custody over,” another Redditor wrote.
In other updates from OP, she shared that she caught her husband — who is her “high school sweetheart” talking to other women on webcams when they were in their 20s. “When I make new discoveries I pull away and he always pulls me back in. I’m not sure how to describe it. He has so much power over my emotions,” she added.
She also claimed he’s called himself a sociopath, “calls me to brag about her” when he’s drunk and feared she would “never find someone to love me” if she left.
“He can’t seem to let me go for her. Like he wants us both so he lies to me and sayd she’s sorry … and then I find their WhatsApp convos and it hurts all over again.”
