A woman is defending herself after deciding not to attend her friend’s destination wedding.
In a post to Reddit’s AITA forum, a woman shared that she couldn’t attend the Italian destination wedding, which got significantly more expensive after she committed to being a part of the bridal party. While some have berated her for “being a horrible friend,” the woman said she just can’t afford the lavish affair.
The bride is getting married next summer, and a few months ago, the woman enthusiastically agreed to be a bridesmaid. Last week, the woman shared, the bride said she and her fiancé were planning on tying the knot in Italy, and again the woman supported her.
As the planning became more concrete, the woman realized between the accommodation, travel and other details that she wouldn’t be able to afford the expense.
“She immediately began screaming at me, telling me, ‘You agreed to be a part of this wedding so figure it out,'” the woman recalled. “I explained to her that when we talked about her wedding before she got engaged it was going to be a small wedding in our hometown. Now it has turned into something bigger that I just can’t afford.”
The bride continued, telling the woman to “work more hours or even move back in with your parents so you don’t have to pay rent and make it to this wedding,” the woman recalled. The bride reminded the woman of her commitment, and that all the other bridesmaids were coming, “so why can’t you?”
“I felt horrible for it but I told her I had to drop out of being in her wedding as it was expensive to travel, find accommodations, pay for my dress,” the woman said. “All of it added up was too much for my budget.”
The bride hung up on the woman, and soon afterwards her fiancé called to tell her she’s being a horrible friend. The bride’s parents and the bridal party joined in, messaging the woman and telling her she should have “just found a way to get the money necessary for this wedding.”
Wedding toast.
Getty
Those in the comments were dumbfounded, stating that the woman isn’t at all obligated to spend money on a wedding that isn’t hers.
“It’s a year away. She can replace you in the bridal party. You probably aren’t the only one that is backing out,” one comment read. “That might be why she’s having such a tantrum. It’s also highly likely that she was counting on her bridal party subsidizing her stay. (If the guests rent 20 rooms, the bridal suite is comped type deal.)”
The comment added, “Even if she has to pivot and have the wedding locally, I wouldn’t be a part of it. Her behavior is unacceptable.”
Others said the “just figure it out” mentality comes from a place of great privilege. Another comment suggested the next time the woman gets berated, she should respond, “thank you for offering to help, how much money can you send me to help and when should I expect it by?”
