A 22-year-old woman said her best friend is “mad” at her after she called her out for not lifting a finger to help clean the home they live in rent-free. Now she’s wondering if she should have kept quiet.
The woman, who detailed her story on the popular “Am I the A——” Reddit forum, explained that she’s best friends with a 24-year-old who she calls “Sarah.”
“A little over a year ago, we moved states and into Sarah’s aunt’s house. She graciously offered to let us live in her house RENT FREE while we get on our feet and figure out where to move next,” the original poster (OP) said, adding that the condition is that they must keep the house clean and complete a list of weekly chores.
The problem? The OP says that Sarah does nothing to contribute to the household tasks.
“Ever since moving in, I’ve slowly discovered the astonishing entitlement of my best friend,” she wrote. “Her lack of consideration for others, lack of cleanliness, and just utter laziness is mind-boggling.”
The OP said she spends hours “vacuuming, mopping, cleaning the kitchen, feeding the cats and cleaning their bowls” and doing various other chores to keep Sarah’s aunt happy. When she is away for even a couple of days or gets busy with work, the chores allegedly pile up, which results in a “tongue lashing” from Sarah’s aunt.
Woman wiping down table (stock image).
Getty
Most recently, the OP wrote that she was dog-sitting and had not been staying in the home for a week. She said that Sarah “of course” spent that time “sitting on the couch leaving trash on the table and sofa for me to clean up” instead of “taking initiative to do the weekly chores.”
Because of this, Sarah’s aunt eventually called both her and Sarah down for a house meeting about the messiness. This time, the OP said she could not take it anymore.
“Amid being berated, I freaked the f— out,” she admitted. “I let it all loose, went on about how unfair it is that I have to clean the entire house with no help from [S]arah, then watch it all get undone within the span of a day BY [S]arah, and then get the same berating as [S]arah.”
The OP said that Sarah is now mad at her for coming clean about everything to the aunt and is currently giving the OP the “silent treatment.”
“But I’m done,” the OP wrote. “I’ve begged her before to help me clean, but I shouldn’t have to.” She added that Sarah is a “grown adult,” and she shouldn’t have to “nag her” to contribute her fair share.
Redditors were quick to flock to the OP’s defense, with many noting that Sarah left her no choice but to eventually tell the aunt what was really going on.
Exasperated woman stands in front of messy room (stock image).
Getty
“NTA [not the a——],” wrote one person before adding: “You covered for her lazy butt for a year and she still couldn’t step up. You had every right to call it out … If [she’s] mad that’s just guilt disguised as attitude. Let her sulk and maybe now she’ll finally pull her weight.”
Another person suggested that the situation came down to a false assumption on Sarah’s part: Namely, that she should do less work since it’s her aunt’s house.
“Sarah probably intuitively thought, and this was reinforced by you not saying anything and doing all of the house work, that you were tacitly agreeing to clean up the house in exchange for living there for free. It’s her aunt’s house, not your aunt’s house, so she probably thought she was doing you a big favor,” they said.
Someone else said that while the OP is not the “a——” here, she still probably could have handled the situation in a more productive way.
They wrote: “NTA. But there is an important lesson in here OP. ‘Freaking out’ is best avoided. A simple ‘I have not been here all week as I have been away dog sitting.’ A calm ‘I usually do X Y Z chores every week and had hoped and asked that Sarah do her fair share’ would have been entirely sufficient. Sarah would still have been mad though.”
