Oluwayemisi Mafe, a victim of spousal abuse, has detailed how her wedding day turned out to be a sad day for her as it heralded years of abuse that left her feeling so alone and led to her mother’s death.

The marketing communications consultant said she married her husband after two years of courtship, so she thought she knew him well, However, she realized on her wedding day that she was wrong when he showed her another side of him.

Speaking on Life Lessons with Betty Irabor, Yemisi revealed that shortly after they got married, the physical abuse started. She explained that only weeks into her marriage, he beat her for the first time. It soon became a habit.

She said he would beat her, apologize, give her gifts, only to ask for the gifts later when he’s angry, then destroy them in her presence.

She reported the abuse to her mother-in-law but, rather than caution her son, the mother-in-law encouraged him to keep beating her all over her body but to avoid her face.

Yemisi said her ex-husband’s entire family also put her through hell. She narrated how his nephew once stripped her naked during a family meeting and her husband and his people did nothing about it.

She said she was too ashamed to tell her family because she blamed herself for making the wrong choice.

She eventually opened up to her mother and it caused her mother to die of a heart attack. To avoid losing her father, she kept her sufferings to herself.

When she decided to leave, she said she was so alone. Since her family were not aware of her marital woes, they didn’t understand so they told her that there are no divorcees in their family.

As a Christian, she said the bible verse about God hating divorce kept her back, until a mentor spoke to her.

“God hates divorce but he doesn’t hate divorcees. He loves you as much as he loves that husband of yours and you need to leave for the sake of your daughter,” the mentor told her.

She also spoke about her daughter and how the abuse affected her.

Advising women in abusive marriages, Yemisi said: “Speak out, document it.”

She said she didn’t document her abuse but the Office of Domestic Violence documented it when they came to rescue her on her final night with her husband and that’s what was presented to the court as evidence.

She added that she was married for nearly 14 years and has been separated for three years and she finally feels lighter and happier.

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