All the stress, the emotional drama, the blackmail,
Everything was all to keep me quiet?
The thoughts and threats
I was always in a toxic relationship.

Several nights I cried, “STOP!”,
“I’m not in the mood”,
“Don’t go there”,
But you never listened.
You defiled me,
Controlled me,
Over and over again,
Will it ever end?
Is there no end to it?

I called out, only a few heard me,
I cried out, no one believed me,
They all thought I was a mad fellow.
Some even said I was smart,
Lucky even, for bagging a rapist like you.
Where’s the consent then?
Where’s MY consent?
I never chose this.

I’m coming out now,
Once again for the billionth time,
I’ve spent my whole life living with a RAPIST.

“The saddest thing about it all”, I heard you say,
“Shout it out to the world,
You’d just be another male held in high regards.
The story wouldn’t even last a night with those in your closest circle.
‘It’s fun’, they’ll say.
Or even, ‘my guy, enjoy it joor, you see fine catch like that, you dey complain?’.
No matter what you do or say,
You’ll always lose to me, why?
I own you”.

“Don’t forget or focus on the bad”. You told me,
“We’ve had some good times too.
We laugh, we joke, we talk about life, the world.
Toxicity? Nah, I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you”.

Although you smile at me,
Sometimes, I hear the sinister laugh.
Other times, I feel the cold shiver down my spine.

I know I can’t get rid or break up with you,
You’d never allow it.
But still, it doesn’t stop me from warning others off you,
Or crying for help.

If this is my final note before I go,
My sincere advice to you,
Stay away from the little devil’s call.

My mind is a Rapist,
How did I not see it from the start?
How’d I let myself be enticed?