Ally Brooke is opening up about feeling like she was “losing her identity” while reaching worldwide fame as part of Fifth Harmony.
ET’s Deidre Behar spoke to the 27-year-old singer about her new memoir, Finding Your Harmony — out now — and she spoke about having to fight for singing parts while in the girl group, which included Camila Cabello, Normani, Lauren Jauregui and Dinah Jane. Brooke says it was producers, writers and higher-ups at the band’s label that made the decisions.null
“You know, it was really hard being in that position,” she reflects. “And I open up about it pretty candidly [in my book] that I am so grateful to be in this group and I want us to succeed. I want us to take over the world and we are. You know, slowly but surely, I mean, also pretty quickly, we did. And that was so incredible, and such an experience. And a one in, you know, a million chance — especially for girl groups. So, taking that excitement and joy, but also feeling like I was losing my identity. And not being able to use my voice. That was so heartbreaking for me. Especially because my parents and I had worked on a dream for so long and all that I wanted was, you know, I know not every song can be perfectly fair, equal. Of course not. But, you know, for it to have been better than it was for the first few albums.”
“And you know what, I had to get through it,” she continues. “Take the good with the bad and try to be positive and be strong. And I wish I would’ve spoken up a little bit more back then for several different things. But, you know what, everything happens for a reason and I’m so proud of our work. And we were able to create songs that are gonna last forever. And it did get better in the end. So, it’s just a learning experience on many different levels.”
Brooke spoke candidly about her serious struggles while in the chart-topping girl group.
“There was a lot happening behind the scenes and also, you know, I was faced with the pressure of being in the spotlight, and the crazy schedule,” she shares. “And the social media ridicule … and facing all of that and the unknown of, you know, just the future and missing your family and all of these different things. And again, not being heard. And, just people taking advantage of me. All that did get to a place where I was like, should I walk away? I definitely had moments of calling my parents and crying my eyes out and saying, ‘Mom and Dad, I don’t know if I can do one more day.’ But I chose to stay, you know, and the group meant that much to me. And, you know, we also did so much together and had so much to do. So, everything happens for a reason and I… I did a lot for the group and I’m proud of our work, again. Seriously, with all the good and bad, I am grateful for Fifth Harmony and we are leaving a legacy.”
Brooke says she reached her lowest point one night in a hotel room when she drank a lot of wine to “numb [her] pain.”
“I just felt so low,” she recalls. “I felt like there was no hope left. I felt worthless. I felt isolated. I felt alone. I felt afraid. I just felt like, like nothing would get better — that I would never be happy and one thing led to another. And, you know, it’s OK to have wine to, you know, relax or celebrate or, you know, ‘Hey, I need a glass of wine cause it’s been a long day.’ That’s totally fine. I do that. I mean, everybody does that. But I turned to wine for a really dark place
